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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828731">An Unexpected Life Journey</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnighttomoscow/pseuds/Midnighttomoscow'>Midnighttomoscow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Drabble Collection, F/M, Post-InuYasha, Romance, inuyasha - Freeform, sesshoumaru - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:07:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828731</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnighttomoscow/pseuds/Midnighttomoscow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been almost a year since Kagome moved back to Japan and she has some new hurdles to overcome. Her and Sesshoumaru have been together for a while and perhaps it's time to expand their happy twosome into something more? This is posed more as a series of connected events rather than a linear story. This is a sequel to An Unexpected Love Story.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Higurashi Kagome/Sesshoumaru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: It's been a while. As usual, I'm not very good at summaries. This is more of a series of drabbles than a cohesive story, it is a story, it has a plot with a beginning a middle and an end but there's time in between</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Part One: Death</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Chapter One:</b>
</p><p> </p><p>I smile as I’m thrusted drinks from already drunk hands. </p><p> </p><p>My boss has taken us all out for karaoke to thank us for all the hard work we’ve done, and I’ve never seen a grown man put this much tequila away before. </p><p> </p><p>We sit in a cramped private room, music blaring, microphones being passed around. Everyone’s laughing and drinking and here I am, sitting. </p><p> </p><p>It’s well past midnight and everyone seems to be just ramping up instead of cooling it down. </p><p> </p><p>“Wanna go outside for a second?” Hina catches my eyes, mouthing the words in an exaggerated way. I nod furiously, standing and making a beeline for the door. We file out down the hallway, passed all the doors, passed all the mismatched music.</p><p> </p><p>The air hits me hard and it feels like I can breathe again, I take a big gulp, leaning against the wall. My feet hurt, my skirt is digging into my ribs and I’ve already undone a few buttons on my blouse. </p><p> </p><p>I’m not used to staying out this late anymore and it’s making me cranky.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know how people can do this” Sliding down the wall I brush my bangs away from my face. Hina slumps down next to me, lighting a cigarette and offering it to me. They’re flavoured like black licorice and my absolute weakness. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you” She lights one for herself, taking a long drag, holding it for a second before blowing it out her nose.</p><p> </p><p>“How do people do what? Drink so much?” She says with a bit of a laugh, swaying slightly, no doubt feeling the shots she took earlier in the evening. Her feet wobble in their heels and I worry she’s going to break an ankle. </p><p> </p><p>“Stay out so late, drink so much, make fools of themselves, normal Friday night stuff apparently” I give a shrug, taking a drag from my cigarette and welcoming the liquorice taste. Sesshoumaru always hates it when I smoke, no doubt he will smell it on me when I get home. I will accept his chastising looks, as long as I get to enjoy this.</p><p> </p><p>She gives a shrug, placing her head against the wall gently. She turns her face to me grinning in a toothy tipsy way. </p><p> </p><p>“Not all of us are grandma’s Kagome” She teases me lightly. She takes another long drag, heaving a great sigh. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not even that much older than you” I give her a light shove, smiling. </p><p> </p><p>Hina and I had worked together for a little over six months now, she came when the local University purchased a collection of artifacts. She was only supposed to stay for a few months as an educator, but the director loved her so much he hired her full time. </p><p> </p><p>Her and I became pretty fast friends and have remained close. Sesshoumaru even likes her. </p><p> </p><p>“Have you and Sesshoumaru ever talked about having kids?” I stare at her for a moment, her question taking me off guard. My gaze shifts across the street, <em> have we ever talked about children?  </em></p><p> </p><p>I can’t imagine him taking care of any other child but Rin.</p><p> </p><p>Sesshoumaru and I have been together for awhile now, we’ve settled into a comfortable little existence. We go to work, go home, even cook together. </p><p> </p><p>Taking another drag I hold my breath, putting my head between my knees. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think we ever have.” I tell the asphalt in a hushed tone. She rubs my back slowly. </p><p> </p><p>She reminds me of Sango. I feel my breath catch in my throat, what’s the point of getting married if you can’t grow old together? </p><p> </p><p>“I’m surprised, he really loves you” </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>There’s a shrill noise that wakes me. </p><p> </p><p>The phone rings downstairs and it takes me a moment to realize that’s what’s going on. I rub my eyes vigorously, throwing my arms out, I grope in the dark for Sesshoumaru. To my dismay, I am alone in bed.</p><p> </p><p>With a groan I roll out of bed, the noise has stopped, Sesshoumaru must have answered the phone. I sit on the edge of the bed for a moment, placing my head in my hands. </p><p> </p><p>The night comes back to me slowly, Hina and I caught a cab together, she wanted to make sure I made it home alright. </p><p> </p><p>When I got home, Sesshoumaru was reading in the living room, I didn’t really feel like talking so I went straight up to bed, he must have never followed me. </p><p> </p><p>“Kagome…” His voice startles me in the darkness, sitting on the bed he places his arm around me. I know he has something to tell me, he’s formulating the best way to say it, I can see the gears move, the minute changes in his face tell me to prepare myself.</p><p> </p><p>The light from the window filters in and I catch a glimpse of his eyes. Something sad was said on that phone call. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s Gramps isn’t it.” closing his eyes, he gives me a knowing nod. </p><p> </p><p>I just saw him, Souta came in from Osaka and we visited him together. He remembered us, he asked where mom was.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh Gramps she-” Souta began to tell him, he reached across the table and touched his hand, wanting to comfort him before breaking the news.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s with Sesshoumaru! They’re baking together, he’s teaching her about French pastry…” Souta stares at me and I see anger flash across his face briefly. </p><p> </p><p>I shouldn’t be lying to him, I just can’t bear to have to explain that mom is gone, again. </p><p> </p><p>We finish our visit soon after my lie, Souta huffs at me when I get into his car. </p><p> </p><p>“You shouldn’t lie to him. He’s senile, he doesn’t need his family to lie to him.” His voice is stern and barking, he stares at the steering wheel, fists clenching tightly before relaxing. </p><p> </p><p>I let my face fall, placing my head in my hands, my breath catches for a moment and I need to steady myself before I can speak. </p><p> </p><p>“You weren’t there last time.” I whisper after a few moments, raking my fingers through my hair momentarily. Turning, I meet Souta’s gaze. </p><p> </p><p>“Sis, I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry.” He reaches a hand out, touching my shoulder. I recoil at his touch, not wanting the sympathy from him right now. </p><p> </p><p>I should welcome the gesture, he dealt with mom’s sickness so well. I on the other hand, can barely keep up with taking care of Gramps and making sure his needs are met. </p><p> </p><p>“Last time, when Sesshoumaru and I came for a visit, he wouldn’t let him in. Gramps yelled and put up a fight for over an hour. He refused to talk to anyone but mom. He kept calling Sesshoumaru Inuyasha, he told me I was throwing my life away with someone who treats me so poorly.” His features soften, his lips part like he’s going to say something but he stops himself, pressing his lips together he speaks quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Kagome, you shouldn’t be dealing with this alone.” His voice is gentle, like if he speaks too loud he will scare me off.</p><p> </p><p>“No. I can do this. You don’t have to come home because of this.” I sit up, meeting his eyes. He touches my hand softly, I let him do so.</p><p> </p><p>“If you need me to come home, I will. I can leave my job, I’ve only been there for six months-”</p><p> </p><p>“No, Souta.” He lets out a breath before starting the car. </p><p> </p><p>He drives me home in silence. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Humans are fragile” I hand Sesshoumaru the final dish to be dried, he stares at me for a moment, waiting for me to elaborate, before putting the plate away. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes they are” His voice has a hint of a question, he wants to know what I’m getting at. </p><p> </p><p>It’s been a few weeks since Gramps’ funeral. Souta and Ayumi have come and gone and Sesshoumaru and I deliver flowers to his grave daily. </p><p> </p><p>“I wonder what will happen when I get old” I mumble this, partially for Sesshoumaru’s answer, partially because I want to know. </p><p> </p><p>What happens when a demon’s human companion ages? What ever happened to Rin, how did she die? Did she live a full and happy life and die a little old woman with a toothy grin? </p><p> </p><p>“What are you thinking?” Sesshoumaru asks running his fingers through my hair and smoothing my brow. I place my hands on the counter, his face is close, I can feel his breath against my skin. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m getting old.” All expression falls from his face, he takes a breath, letting the air out of his nose. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re getting old?” I realize what I said and have to back track, he turns from me pinching the bridge of his nose. </p><p> </p><p>“You know what I mean, you may be old but no one knows how old you are. One day I’m going to be little and old and grey, or worse I’ll die young.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you just said you were getting old?” He’s trying to diffuse this with humour. </p><p> </p><p>“Hina said something to me, a while ago, and I just haven’t been able to shake it.” I make my way over to the kitchen table, plopping onto a chair. He sits across from me, I can feel his unease more than I can see it. His back is a little too straight, shoulders a little too poised, he’s waiting for me to do something drastic. It’s almost like he’s waiting for me to run away. </p><p> </p><p>I think about all of the people in his life that have left or died and he has just continued. He just exists while others die. I don’t want to leave him, I wish I had never started this conversation. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going to leave you, I promise. I’m just not ready to talk about what she said yet.” I reach across the table and take hold of his hand. </p><p> </p><p>We settle in together on the couch, I watch TV while he reads. He seems to have dismissed my previous questions.</p><p> </p><p>That night, I lie awake in bed and try to unpack what I’m feeling. </p><p> </p><p>I can’t let my ovaries rule my life. Is what I’m feeling a direct correlation to what Hina said? Had I ever thought about children before she said that? </p><p> </p><p>I roll onto my side, curling into a ball. Sesshoumaru lies next to me, on his back, hands folded over his stomach. His eyes are closed and I can just see the outline of his face in the moonlight. </p><p> </p><p>Closing my eyes, I try to imagine our family. What would it look like? Would we have a child that looks just like Inuyasha? If that happens will my heart be able to bear it? Could I wake up every morning and care for my child when they remind me of nothing but the past. </p><p> </p><p>I thought I got through this, I thought that I had forgiven myself but it isn’t always black and white. Sometimes forgiveness can be grey, especially when the person you’re forgiving is yourself. </p><p> </p><p>Sesshoumaru would be a great father, the only doubt I have is about myself. </p><p> </p><p>All I can think about is the little girl who followed him around so lovingly. My time with Rin was short but I loved being with her, she spoke so highly of Sesshoumaru and how he treated her. He was always bringing her gifts and checking in on her.</p><p> </p><p>Sesshoumaru reaches a hand out, grazing my cheek. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you thinking about?” He whispers, not wanting to break the stillness. </p><p> </p><p>“What happened to Rin?” I feel his hand stiffen against my cheek. I reach up, grabbing his face between my hands, forcing him to look at me in the dull moonlight. </p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.” My voice is earnest and soft, I don’t want to scare him. He lets out a breath before brushing hair away from my face. </p><p> </p><p>“I have barely spoken of her since she died.” He lets out a breath, collecting his thoughts. Rolling onto his back he pulls me close.</p><p> </p><p>“Rin deserves to be remembered.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>End of Chapter One</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: TRIGGER WARNING **MAJOR SPOILER** </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This section of the story is called Death (duh, says it in part one) understandably so the entire world is going through a tough time and loss can be something that manifests itself in many different outlets. For me in times or turmoil I turn to the arts, mostly writing and drawing. This is a pretty rough (rough as in the subject matter is hard to swallow) chapter, I started writing it as soon as I finished the previous story but I never committed to it until now. The following chapter contains infant death as well as childbirth complications, I didn't go into a lot of detail since it can be quite the touchy subject and I decided to leave it up to my readers. Please read on and understand that there is still hope in the world, as well as this story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Two:</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I settle into his chest, listening to the low thump of his heart, his voice rumbles as he speaks. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“After you left, Rin continued living with Kaede and Jinenji. She helped them pick herbs and was even beginning to learn about medicine.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was a part of the village, she was happy, she had her own life there, then Kaede died. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I came to check on her as soon as I heard about what happened, I was building myself a home in the Western lands. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My father started building it just before he died, as a place for him and Izayoi to live with Inuyasha.” He doesn’t look at me when he speaks, instead he stares at the ceiling. I can hear the minute amount of emotion in his voice. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I don’t think he’s ever told this to anyone before. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had just finished building it when Rin asked if she could come home with me. I’ll never forget how she said it.” I stay quiet, listening, watching as his brow seems to furrow. I want to hear what she said. I want to hear her voice once more. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She must have been the same age you were when you fell down the well at this time. We sat next to the river and watched the sunset together, she turned to me and asked if she could come home. I was surprised, but it made me… happy, that she considered living with me home.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I would be remiss if I didn’t admit I missed having her following me around. So I brought her home, she said goodbye to your friends and as soon as she set foot in the palace it was like a weight had lifted from her shoulders. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was so excited to have people to talk to and play with, Rin never lost her sense of childhood wonder when it came to life. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a few years she was quite content reading and debating with the servants. She even became close friends with a few of them.Rin always wanted to help out with daily chores.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The servants took a long time to warm up to the idea of my young ward assisting them in ketchenly duties, but they accepted her help eventually.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rin planted an entire vegetable garden one spring. She spent weeks reading about what seeds would do well in our soil, she visited the local village and spoke to the old farmers and came back with a wealth of knowledge. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That summer she asked me why I chose to build my home on the side of a mountain. We spent the warm months together and I taught her about war tactics, and using terrain to help in defensive strategy. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the fall, once the final round of vegetables were harvested, she took them down to the village and gave them out. Her and a few of the servants spent the afternoon handing out anything we couldn’t store or use during the winter. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I think that’s when she met him.” He takes a moment, tracing absent minded shapes on my back with his clawed hand. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rin lived a life much like you, she was human and loved human things, but she was exposed to so much she could never properly connect with humans, until she met Touma.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was a little older than her and his family were merchants who dealt in textiles. He was educated and could read and write, I found a stack of letters hidden in her chambers after she died. They had been sending letters back and forth to one another since the moment they met. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>During the next few months she spent more and more time in the village. She didn’t speak of Touma until he came to the palace one day that following spring, he was asking if he could marry her.” His voice trails, like telling this part of the story pains him. I know we’re getting to the end.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I can’t help but imagine poor Touma asking to marry Rin, Sesshoumaru sat upon a great throne, servants lining the walls leading to him. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The palace must have been exquisite. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They were married in the summer in a small ceremony, Rin and I went to the capital together and I purchased her a Shiromuku, we spent the day looking for one with cranes on it. She was so beautiful, she lit up as soon as she put it on, I’d never seen her so happy.”<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice is soft in the stillness, lips curling into a smile, he closes his eyes as if looking at a picture. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I went away for a while, having the palace empty was something I didn’t want to deal with just yet. When I returned, I visited her and found out she was pregnant.” <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There is no longer a trace of a smile, the words fall into the dead air and there is no joy in his voice. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Touma was overjoyed. He told me over and over again that it was a boy, he wanted to name him Hiro, so he would grow up as generous as his mother. Rin came to visit the palace more in those few months she had left. She shooed away all the servants when they tried to help her, she insisted on cooking when she came to visit and tending her gardens. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She got very round during her pregnancy and suffered headaches. On one visit when she was heavily pregnant, she was so overcome with nausea and vomiting she could barely sit still.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I overheard a servant taking care of her on a night she just couldn’t make it home. Rin was sobbing, she just kept saying over and over that she wasn’t ready. I chose not to go into the room and comfort her…” <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Voice trailing he takes a deep breath. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know now that she had something modern medicine calls preeclampsia, she may have even had eclampsia by then. She went into labour soon after her visit with me, she was in her third trimester but not far along enough to actually have the baby. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Touma was distraught when I arrived, Rin was bent over in pain, the village midwife was bringing in buckets of fresh water and making her drink. She tried to stand when I entered and I remember looking into her eyes and seeing agony.” I can see him swallow the lump in his throat, reaching out I place my hand on his chest. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too painful” I whisper, kissing his cheek. He isn’t looking at me but I know what his eyes look like. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rin and the baby died that night. She had a little girl who wasn’t even strong enough to take her first breath. Touma begged me to do something, he threw himself onto his knees in front of me and screamed for me to save her, but I couldn’t. I just...I wasn’t powerful enough, I wasn’t strong enough to save her…” His voice is low.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He has never forgiven himself for not being able to save Rin. The smallest tear falls from his closed lids, it leaves a damp little puddle on the pillow. I do my best to scoop him into my arms, I want to take all the pain away. <br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Sesshoumaru” I whisper. He pulls me into him and I feel a small sob, he catches himself before he breaks down. Taking a deep breath he pulls away, hiding his face, he sits on the edge of the bed. Placing his head in his hands, I can do nothing but wrap my arms around him, squeezing him as tight as I can.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know I love you, right?” He reaches his hands to me, lacing his fingers in mine.<br/><br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know” He kisses the side of my face, rubbing his nose against my cheek. “I love you too”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>xxx</span>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>End of Chapter Two</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: I'm on the hunt for a beta reader! If you're interested please message me! Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>A/N: </b>Hello! I hope everyone is doing well! I'm currently looking for a beta, if you're interested please message me! Thanks for reading!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Chapter Three: <br/><br/></b>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Wednesday. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mama passed on a Tuesday and it’s only been a year. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Souta calls me to ask if I’m ok. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should be the one calling you Souta.” I chastise him, but he knows how much I appreciate him checking on me. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you doing sis? Did you go visit her?” I let out the breath I had been holding. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet, Sesshoumaru and I are going later today.” Souta is uncharacteristically quiet. I weigh out the pros and cons of asking what’s wrong. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is it because of Gramps passing so close to Mom? We’re all that’s left of our family. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong Souta?” He breathes loudly on the other end.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Ayumi…” His voice trails for a moment, I hear a door close gently before he continues. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s… She’s pregnant.” His words hit me with a gravity I never expected. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>The air leaves my lungs at a rate I never thought could happen. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>I’m surprised, but I’m happy. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Souta! You’re going to be a dad!” I smile as I say this and make sure he can hear it. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah...I’m going to be a dad” He doesn’t sound very excited. I don’t know if I should press the matter, I stay quiet for a moment, listening to him breathe. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kagome, I’m scared. I never thought I would be the first one to become a parent… I wish mom was here.” He sounds so sad, my heart breaks, for him. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be okay Souta, I promise” I do my best to sound as reassuring as possible. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>He must be terrified. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>We finish the phone call with pleasantries and I tell him to keep me updated with everything. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>I know Sesshoumaru has heard every word, but he waits for me to tell him. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>We pile into the car, he’s driving and I fiddle with the flowers I picked from the garden. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Souta’s going to be a dad” I tell the flowers in my hands. I try to sound excited but I know I’m not doing a very good job at it.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that make me an uncle?” He’s trying to make me laugh. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it does” I giggle lightly. He’s looking at me from the corner of his eye, gauging my reaction, weighing out how he should proceed. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>I don’t even know how he should proceed. I don’t even know how I feel about all of this. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a part of me that’s so excited to welcome a new family member into this world. I get to be a part of the whole process, start to finish. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there’s a part of me that rages with jealousy. I always assumed that I would pave the way for Souta. I always thought that I would always be first for everything. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Ayumi will become a mother and I will be an aunt. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever want children?” We’re here, Sesshoumaru has parked and I blurt out the question before my brain can stop it. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pardon?” I know he heard me. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you...Do you want children?” I weigh the words out before saying them. They feel so heavy on my tongue. Weighted down by the gravity of what us having children really means. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks out the windshield, hands still placed on the wheel like he’s still driving. I can see his eyes lock onto something in the distance before his mouth begins to move. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure” Is not the answer that I was expecting from the stoic Sesshoumaru I once knew. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” I reach out to him, touching his knee, he turns his head. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I want to put you through that” His voice is so soft, gentle, kind. It breaks the silence so swiftly. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t that be my own choice?” He takes a breath, closing his eyes for a moment. He knows it should be my own choice, it should be me who decides what to do with my own body. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I also don’t know if I want to create a half demon in this day and age.” Even softer than before I almost have to strain to hear him. I feel my breath catch, I have to look away from him. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you would have outgrown your hatred by now.” I say almost sternly. My voice doesn’t even sound like my own. I try to control the heat in my veins but it feels like I will boil over. I want to scream.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kagome…” His voice makes my name sound so sweet, but I don’t let him finish.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’ve made up your mind. There’s no use in me fighting you.” A single clawed finger pulls my chin to face him, I reach for the door handle, trying to get out. Trying to break out of this confining space.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have to close my eyes to keep from crying. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kagome, look at me.” Dripping with sweetness he almost begs me to open my eyes. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please look at me” He tries again.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>I do what he says.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes swim with emotion, he grasps at words, trying to describe what he’s feeling. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to burden you with bearing a half demon child. I know nothing about the strain it will put on you.” He’s telling the truth. We don’t have access to the knowledge we used to. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>The well closed and when it did all my connections to the demon world did. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to make an informed and rational decision before we do this.” Well that’s a romantic answer. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’re open to the idea?” I try to hide the hopefulness in my voice. Taking a deep breath I speak again, “We could probably find old folk tales at the university since there isn’t anyone else to talk to about this.” <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now it’s his turn to take a breath before speaking.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could also pay a visit to my mother.” The air leaves my lungs so quickly I feel faint. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s still alive?!” He pinches the bridge of his nose. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unfortunately yes, she lives with my step father”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if we call Maksimir, he was around when Aleks and Demitri were born.” It’s a Sunday and Sesshoumaru is doing what he does every Sunday. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maksmir knows nothing of what it’s like to have a half demon child” He’s stress baking, he does this every Sunday and brings it all into his office on Monday morning. I sit at the kitchen table, watching as he dances between pots on the stove and pans in the oven. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know that?” He stops momentarily, meeting my eyes, I try to hold back my anger.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked him” He says this like I immediately should have known he would reach out to him. I let out a snort before I can stop myself. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You asked him? When?” I stand, taking on my unspoken bowl duty. This is how our Sundays work, Sesshoumaru sets out on making an insurmountable mountain of baked goods, then he becomes silently overwhelmed with the process. I do my best to help him where I can, mostly assisting in mixing things, I will occasionally be allowed to help with frostings, but he forces me to read the steps aloud. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I called him when you were at work.” He looms over my shoulder, taking a spoon from his apron and testing the whipped cream. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>I think that’s Sesshoumaru’s way of saying, he’s been thinking about this non stop since I brought it up. I put a lid on my anger for a moment, and think about what he’s processing. The thought of having a child must terrify him, perhaps he feels like he’s following his father's footsteps. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’ve been thinking about this constantly then? Us starting a family?” I catch a peak of his blush from the corner of my eye. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to do some research, before we started anything” So calculated, so precise. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before we started anything, the sound of those words made me fall into a cold sweat. Before we start a family. I feel my hands get clammy, the whisk almost falling from my grasp. Taking a deep breath I put the bowl down. No longer angry, just overwhelmed. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if this isn’t the right time, what if we’re not meant to have children. Are demons and priestesses even allowed to have children together? Have you talked to your mother yet?” I can feel myself begin to panic, breath hastening. Sesshoumaru pulls over one of our chairs, hand on my shoulder guiding me down gently. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to do this.” His voice is so calm, his eyes lock onto mine. I put my head into my hands, pushing my bangs from my face which is altogether far too warm. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you looked at folk tales yet?” Quiet I know he can hear me.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if, I don’t want to know what I’ve gotten myself into.” He kneels before me, the once great lord no longer towered over me. Placing his head into my lap, he wraps his arms around me completely. Melting into me, he does nothing but breathe, composing himself silently before he begins to speak. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I cannot lose you.” He sounds so scared, so raw, so emotional. Closing his eyes I brush his hair from his face. He almost looks like a child.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wonder if his mother ever showed him any affection, he always speaks of her so coldly. Closing my eyes I imagine a young Sesshoumaru yearning for attention, only to be met by scorn. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>My heart breaks. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can’t imagine myself with a child, I can’t imagine myself being a mother. I can’t picture our family. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t lose me, I promise” I whisper, running my fingers through his long dark hair. I catch a glimpse of his marks on his face, I don’t want to disappoint him. My own self doubt is forever holding me back. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t watch you die…” His voice trails, eyes closed he grabs me tighter. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t watch me die…” He will though, and he knows it. One day I will die and he will have to continue on, he will have to pick up the pieces of his own life like he has so many times before me. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sesshoumaru will move on and continue and I will stay here and deteriorate in this earth. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can’t leave him with nothing to live for, but is having a child the right decision? <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we try?” I whisper, letting all of my doubt leave my body. “I just want to try,” I say again, folding over and kissing his ear. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can try.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Xxx</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Interlude One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: My foggy tired brain realized that adding these here made the most sense to the flow of the story. I apologize for any confusion. This doesn't have anything to do with the story itself really, it's just an add on</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <b>Chapter Four: Interlude</b>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <b>Tales from Edo:</b>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <b>
      <em>The Time Traveller<br/><br/></em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There once was a girl who defied time. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She always understood that she did not belong to one single place, she went where she was needed. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But by doing so, she lost who she was. She gave every last drop of herself to others. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By losing her present, she created her own future, unknown to all but her. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She lived a lonely existence between everything and everyone, before disappearing. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">xxx</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <b>
      <em>The Half Demon<br/><br/></em>
    </b>
  </span>
  <b></b>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There once was a demon, a half demon actually. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Half demon, half human, stuck in a dichotomy between two worlds that refused to accept him. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So he died alone, outliving his human companion, he chose to take his own life. <br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">xxx</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <b>
      <em>The Prince of the Moon</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There once was a Lord with no land, so he wandered. Through forests filled with demons and valleys riddled with human villages. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>There once was a Lord with no purpose. He was no longer searching for a fang that was never his, no longer hunting a demon he could not kill, no longer pining for someone who would never love him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>So he wandered without purpose. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>A demon without purpose means nothing but a path of destruction. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">xxx</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">End of Interlude One</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p3"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Part Two: Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Part Two: Life</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Chapter Five:</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I’m so tired. <br/>
<br/>
A shrine just sent us their entire collection of artifacts they unearthed while renovating. Some of the pieces even date back to the 1300s. I’ve been working furiously to catalogue everything so we can have it out and ready for the upcoming festival season. <br/>
<br/>
Hina stays with me for as long as she can, but most nights I’m in the office alone until well past midnight, tonight is no exception. <br/>
<br/>
My feet are killing me, my eyes are straining as I squint in the darkness. Shoulders heavy, I do my best to stay silent. <br/>
<br/>
I don’t want to wake the sleeping demon upstairs…<br/>
<br/>
Tiptoeing down the hall I find my way to the kitchen. <br/>
<br/>
All I want to do is turn my brain off. I don’t want to think about anything other than eating or sleeping. There are so many dates and artifacts floating in my scattered mind, I can’t retain anymore information. <br/>
<br/>
I find the food that Sesshoumaru left for me and heat it up. I also find the bottle of Whiskey we keep in the pantry. <br/>
<br/>
Although I shouldn’t say we, more like me. I am the only one who drinks whiskey in this house. <br/>
<br/>
Pouring a glass I settle into the chair at our kitchen table. It tastes like a campfire and burns all the way down my throat.<br/>
<br/>
I put my head down and look at the time, if it’s 1AM here then it’s 1PM tomorrow in Maine. I just want to take a step out of my own life for a moment and hear about someone else’s. <br/>
<br/>
“Kags!?” Mel sounds worried on the other end as soon as she picks up the phone. <br/>
<br/>
“Mel! How are you!” I’m pouring myself another glass. I wonder if Sesshoumaru is awake. <br/>
<br/>
“It must be almost one in the morning there!” I close my eyes for a moment, rubbing my nose. <br/>
<br/>
“How’s Moichi?” I derail the topic of how late it is. <br/>
<br/>
“He’s so sweet! Ted and I love him! How are you Kagome? How’s Souta? I heard about your grandfather, I’m really sorry you had to put him to rest so close to your mom” Mel never wants to talk about anyone but herself usually, today must be special. <br/>
<br/>
“Everyone’s doing well considering, that’s so sweet of you to ask… How are you Mel? Tell me everything about your day.” I can hear her exhale, she’s thinking, Mel never thinks before she speaks. <br/>
<br/>
“I guess I can tell you… You’re a whole world away…” Her giddiness is palpable through the receiver. <br/>
<br/>
“You know how Teddy and I have been trying to have a baby?” I can hear my heart pounding in my ears, my stomach drops to my feet. <br/>
<br/>
“I’m still to early, like two months early...like-” <br/>
<br/>
“Mel, wait. Are you-”<br/>
<br/>
“Uh huh! Pregnant!” She cuts me off and I’m so thankful she has. <br/>
<br/>
I have no reason to be jealous of her. Mel and Ted have been trying for longer than we have. <br/>
<br/>
I also haven’t told anyone that we are thinking about expanding our family. We haven’t even really talked about it since we agreed to try. <br/>
<br/>
If we talk about it, it’ll become a reality. Not even a reality, a possibility and I’m not ready to step out of my dream world just yet. <br/>
<br/>
I tell Mel congratulations and that I’m so happy for her but the truth is I want to escape. <br/>
<br/>
This phone call was supposed to lure me out from my reality, not remind me of my own failures. <br/>
<br/>
I miss my mother. <br/>
<br/>
I miss calling her, I miss her advice, I miss crawling into her bed, curling into her lap and the warmth. <br/>
<br/>
A hand, on my shoulder, so gentle the touch is barely there. <br/>
<br/>
It must be morning. I must have cried myself to sleep at the kitchen table after hanging up the phone. <br/>
<br/>
My glass is no longer next to me and I can’t remember cleaning it up last night. Sesshoumaru is already making breakfast. I wonder if he cleaned up the glass. I wonder if he knew I drank myself to sleep last night. <br/>
<br/>
He’s making pancakes. <br/>
<br/>
I wipe the sleep from my eyes, blinking once too many times and standing. <br/>
<br/>
“You’re still in your clothes from yesterday. I can bring your food upstairs if you’d like” He’s worried but I don’t want to talk. <br/>
<br/>
All I do is nod before hiding away. <br/>
<br/>
xxx<br/>
<br/>
“Mel is pregnant” I tell him while he’s cooking. His back is to me and I sit at the kitchen table. <br/>
<br/>
“Her and Ted have been trying for a while now” not what I wanted to hear, but I don’t even know what I want to hear. <br/>
<br/>
“I read that the average time it takes to become pregnant is a year” I have to stop my jaw from dropping open. <br/>
<br/>
“Where did you read that?” He picks up our plates, placing one in front of me. <br/>
<br/>
“I took a book out from the library” How did I not notice him reading a book on parenting. <br/>
<br/>
“Is there any other information I should know from that book?” I see him smirk. <br/>
<br/>
“Maybe you should read it?” I stop myself from rolling my eyes. <br/>
<br/>
“You should at least think about reading it.” He sounds almost annoyed. Almost. <br/>
<br/>
What he doesn’t understand is that if I don’t have any expectations, I won’t be disappointed. <br/>
<br/>
Although my annoyance with myself and my own body betraying me seems to be my own problem. <br/>
<br/>
“What does a book on human parents and human babies have to do with us?” I don’t want to read the dumb book and he can’t make me.<br/>
<br/>
“I think you forget, that you are human.” His eyebrow raises slightly. <br/>
<br/>
“I am a washed up priestess who can purify demons and seal them away.” I retort, trying to sound mocking. <br/>
<br/>
“I’m quaking” Is all he answers. <br/>
<br/>
“I can be menacing.” All I see is a twitch of his eyebrow. <br/>
<br/>
xxx<br/>
<br/>
I dream. I dream of a child that isn’t mine and a demon I cannot find. <br/>
<br/>
I buried him in the earth and left him there to do whatever a demon does when they’re sealed away for eternity. <br/>
<br/>
When the sun hits my face, it feels like fire burning my skin. Opening my eyes I find that they have been sealed shut with wet tears. It takes me a moment to pry them open and look around. <br/>
<br/>
Same too. Same bed and a demon sound asleep next to me. <br/>
<br/>
Reaching out a hand, I touch his shoulder, trying to rouse him, attempting to wake him from sleep. I pray I didn’t seal him away in a sleep induced rage. <br/>
<br/>
He stirs very gently, rolling into my touch, eyes still closed, hanging onto those last dreamy moments. <br/>
<br/>
“I swear, in your old age you’re much harder to wake.” I trail my fingers down his face, watching as his lids flutter open. <br/>
<br/>
“That’s what you think” He says this lightly, I can see him smirking. He even lets a fang slip over his bottom lip. <br/>
<br/>
I take a moment, stroking his face, holding his eyes with mine. <br/>
<br/>
“What will we do if I can’t have children?” His brows furrow, he’s always a little more emotional in the morning, much easier to read. <br/>
<br/>
“Will you just outlive me? Alone?” He blinks at me for a moment and I can see his gears turning. He reaches for me, encircling my body and burying my head into his chest. <br/>
<br/>
“I’m not sure, I haven’t thought about it.” his voice rumbles against my ear when he answers, I know he’s lying. <br/>
<br/>
“Tell me the truth...and I’ll read the parenting book and all the folk tales you can find.” He takes a breath, weighing his answer before voicing it. <br/>
<br/>
“I want you to seal me away so I can die.” I pull away so I can look at him. <br/>
<br/>
“What? But does sealing away a demon really kill them? Will you truly die if I seal you up?” He opens his eyes for a moment, staring at the ceiling. <br/>
<br/>
“I don’t know. I’ve never been sealed away and we don’t know anyone strong enough to kill me.” <br/>
<br/>
“What about Maksmir?” He rolls a golden eye towards me, and I can see he is perturbed. Letting out a long breath he looks back to the ceiling. <br/>
<br/>
“He could never kill me, that dumb demon? No way” He scoffs. <br/>
<br/>
This is the most we’ve spoken in a while, I even find myself smiling. <br/>
<br/>
“Well then, sealing you up is our only option!” I curl into his body and he wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my forehead. <br/>
<br/>
I don’t want to have to seal him away. The world deserves to know him. The world deserves to meet him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>End of Chapter Five</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div>
  <p>
    <strong>Chapter Six:</strong>
  </p>
  <p>We board the bullet train, Sesshoumaru is weighed down with parcels that he keeps refusing my help with. After loading everything into the bins he keeps looking at me, like he’s checking to see if I’m ok, like I’ll combust. <br/><br/>“Why do you keep looking at me? Is there something on my face?” I think I see the smallest hint of a blush fall across his cheeks. <br/><br/></p>
  <p>“There’s nothing on your face” He mumbles, settling into his seat next to me.</p>
  <p><br/>I call Souta and tell him we’re on our way and have far too many things for them. Souta does nothing but laugh and it’s such a welcome sound. I can feel my shoulders fall as I let a breath out. </p>
  <p><br/>“I’m excited for you to meet him sis” He’s giddy and he’s not even trying to hide it. </p>
  <p><br/>“I’m excited to meet him too.”<br/><br/><br/>I do my best to keep occupied, I even try to read, but I can’t focus. <br/><br/></p>
  <p>Every sound pulls me back to where I am and I keep thinking about my dream. <br/><br/></p>
  <p>I try to sleep, closing my eyes and ignoring everything. I count my shallow breaths. </p>
  <p><br/>One...two...three…</p>
  <p><br/>The what ifs start to flood in. Like a broken dam they begin with a trickle. I close my eyes tighter and continue to count, fiddling with the edge of my shirt, keeping myself grounded. </p>
  <p><br/>Nine...ten...eleven...twelve…</p>
  <p><br/>Having a baby shouldn’t be this difficult, people do it all the time. The human race depends on it. </p>
  <p><br/>But that’s just it, the <em>human</em> race. When one of us isn’t human what’s going wrong? </p>
  <p><br/>Hybrids exist in nature, hanyous are very much still a thing.</p>
  <p><br/>Aleks and Dimitri exist and they are both very much half demons. So what’s the difference? Is it because I’m a priestess? Is it my powers? Is it impossible for me to bear a half demon child? </p>
  <p><br/>Am I the only problem? </p>
  <p><br/>A gentle hand touches my shoulder, I must have worried myself to sleep. </p>
  <p><br/>I call Souta once more and tell him where he can get us. </p>
  <p><br/>“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you have way too much stuff.” He helps Sesshoumaru load our suitcases and parcels into the trunk. </p>
  <p><br/>“I didn’t know what you needed and what you already had.” Sesshoumaru states, settling into the back seat. </p>
  <p><br/>“I know you said no gifts but he insisted” I cut Souta off before he can even say anything. All he does is smile. </p>
  <p><br/>We drive, in a very comfortable silence, I miss Souta. </p>
  <p><br/>“Let’s go in first, we can get you settled and grab the rest when he’s down for a nap.” I’m so nervous, I can feel my palms sweating when Sesshoumaru holds my hand. </p>
  <p><br/>Souta calls out to Ayumi when we enter and she emerges holding the smallest little bundle swaddled perfectly in a yellow blanket. </p>
  <p><br/>“I’d like you to meet your nephew, Daisuke.” My heart pounds. He’s so small, he looks so fragile. His big black eyes looking around the room, scanning everything, trying to make sense of it all. His shock of hair seems so out of place. </p>
  <p><br/>I freeze up, this little guy is my absolute flesh and blood. He has Ayumi’s eyes but he definitely has Souta’s nose. </p>
  <p><br/>“Here, hold him.” my hands fly up cradling this tiny thing. He wriggles around while cocooned, no doubt trying to figure out where he’s going. </p>
  <p><br/>He continues to wriggle trying to get comfortable before settling in. His big eyes lock onto mine and we just stare at each other for a moment. </p>
  <p><br/>“Hello Daisuke, my name is Kagome. I’m your aunt” </p>
  <p><br/>I’m in love, his tiny mouth opening and closing, his perfect little hand reaching out for me. I feel myself tear up. </p>
  <p><br/>“He’s so beautiful…” Is all I can whisper. </p>
  <p><br/>Sesshoumaru is standing close to me, his hair swishing against my arm. </p>
  <p><br/>“Here, hold your nephew.” I place Daisuke into his arms and see him melt. His face softens, his eyes close for a moment and when he opens them they quiver. </p>
  <p><br/>I’m roused by a soft snore, Ayumi has dozed off in the arm chair across from us. Her head rests on her hand, mouth open. </p>
  <p><br/>I motion towards her and Souta stands. Sesshoumaru holds Daisuke protectively as Souta and I retrieve the gifts from the car. </p>
  <p><br/>“He’s really small…” Souta smirks, I can see his dark circles in the setting sun. I lean on the trunk of the car, soaking up the sun before it dips behind the buildings. </p>
  <p><br/>“He cries a lot… The doctors say it’s pretty normal...Ayumi deals with most of it since I have to work…” His voice trails and I know how guilty he feels about not being able to stay home. </p>
  <p><br/>“I hope he grows out of the fussy stage soon.” I’m trying to sound reassuring. </p>
  <p><br/>“Me too, he’s only three months old so only time will tell. Apparently a lot of babies reverse cycle too” He stands next to me, eyes to the sky. </p>
  <p><br/>“I read about that, where they sleep all day and they’re up all night” I kept my promise to Sesshomaru and I read almost every parenting book he could get his hands on. </p>
  <p><br/>“I hope we skip that. I’m tired enough as it is.” He gives a laugh but I can see it on his face. </p>
  <p><br/>We go back inside and Sesshoumaru is still holding the baby. </p>
  <p><br/>“I never thought you would be a natural.” Souta remarks, honestly neither did I. Watching him care for this tiny little being so gently. </p>
  <p><br/>My chest feels tight with emotion and I excuse myself to help Ayumi in the kitchen. </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>xxx</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>We stayed with Souta for a few days and it feels so empty coming home. </p>
  <p><br/>We’re lying in bed after having sex and I feel no different. I can just make out his face in the darkness. </p>
  <p><br/>“What if it’s me…” just barely a whisper his brow furrows. </p>
  <p><br/>“It’s not you” He kisses my forehead and I’m supposed to feel reassured. </p>
  <p><br/>“What if it’s because I’m a priestess. I’m supposed to protect villagers from demons, not copulate with them” </p>
  <p><br/>“It’s <em>not </em>you” He says this with a certainty that should be reserved for absolute answers. </p>
  <p><br/>“But if we were normal I would be pregnant by now…” We would have gone to a specialist, gotten tested, we would have done something. </p>
  <p><br/>“Sometimes it takes longer for people to get pregnant.” I hate how he sounds so calm and sure. </p>
  <p><br/>“But it isn’t your body that’s failing you, it’s <em>mine</em>,” my words are biting, I can hear him exhale sharply. He’s frustrated but it isn’t with me. </p>
  <p><br/>“What should we do? A normal couple would look into treatments, do we go to doctors? Do we look into fertility treatments? What do we do?” I guess we could go to the doctor. I’m the one who needs treatment, not him. </p>
  <p><br/>He’s quiet. I can hear nothing but him breathing. </p>
  <p><br/>“I remember… hundreds of years ago, there was a priestess who fell in love with a demon…” He sounds hopeful, like it could be an answer I am actually looking for. </p>
  <p><br/>“I’ve been looking for her folk tale, but I can’t find it...It’s like she’s disappeared from the world.” He sounds so frustrated. I touch his face, no longer wanting to rile him up with my cruel words. </p>
  <p><br/>“I can help you look, we probably have a database at work…” He rubs his face, letting out a loud sigh. </p>
  <p><br/>“No. I think all the written down tales have been burned or destroyed. Demons are petty and priestesses are supposed to be pure, both parties probably agreed to never speak of what happened. Our only hope is to find someone who lived at the same time as the priestess and the demon…” I can hear the annoyance in his voice. </p>
  <p><br/>“You’re old…” He snorts, cutting me off. </p>
  <p><br/>“I’m not that old...Unfortunately, we have to go and see my mother…” </p>
  <p><br/>Oh boy.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>xxx</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>I’m tired. I’m always tired, and work is still a disaster. </p>
  <p><br/>But it’s only gotten worse, not better. One of our department heads was pulled out of the office to identify artifacts of an ancient tomb. Hina and I have been splitting up the work he usually does, but between that and carrying our own workload, we could have brought a third person and still had work to spare. </p>
  <p><br/>“I’m almost done.” Hina crosses her arms, tapping her foot impatiently. She shakes her head with a giggle before giving me an ultimatum. </p>
  <p><br/>“You have five more minutes” I know she’s serious even though she’s smiling. </p>
  <p><br/>“Almost done! I promise!” I hurry my spreadsheets, making notes so I remember to double check them when I’m back in the office and not being rushed. </p>
  <p><br/>“One…two...two and a half...three...” I type away furiously, holding my breath. </p>
  <p><br/>“One second! One second! Hold on!” Hina smirks, packing her things, throwing her papers into her purse haphazardly.</p>
  <p><br/>“Don’t leave without me! Hold on!” I’m frantically shutting my computer down, chucking everything into my backpack, cursing the disorganization I will have to deal with later. </p>
  <p><br/>She links her arm with mine as we walk out of the building. </p>
  <p><br/>“Let’s go eat, I’m starving!” </p>
  <p><br/>She suggests we go to a manga cafe so we can close ourselves off from the world for a few hours and chat. I want nothing more than to eat dessert and drink fancy cocktails. </p>
  <p><br/>“Ok, tell me what’s up, you never agree to go out with me on Friday nights” Hina levels me with her eyes, grabbing a sip from her drink. I pick at my ice cream, no longer interested in the sugar coma it will cause. </p>
  <p><br/>“Your Friday nights usually consist of dancing and heels.” She rolls her eyes before retorting. I sip at my fancy cocktail, relishing in it. This always brings me back to Vegas. </p>
  <p><br/>“Not always, sometimes they involve gifts!” Hina reaches into her bag, pulling out a very old looking book. I place my drink on the table and take it from her hands. </p>
  <p><br/>“Don’t look so perplexed! I’m allowed to buy my friend things” She’s smiling, she’s a little giddy even.</p>
  <p><br/>I turn the book over to get a good look at the cover. It’s old and well worn, its cover was once a vibrant shade of indigo, but now the colour lies dull and stained. </p>
  <p><br/>“Tales from the Western Lands?” I read aloud. This couldn’t be... </p>
  <p><br/>“A few weeks ago, I noticed you were researching folktales on demons. This is a collection of folktales from Fukushima, they were collected by a family just after the Sengoku Jidai. We used to read these in grade school.” My mind races, my hands shake as I crack open the book, flipping to the table of contents, reading the list of short stories. </p>
  <p><br/>“These...these are all about a dog demon…” My eyes widen and I have to hold my breath to stop my voice from shaking.</p>
  <p><br/>“Yeah, apparently this dog demon used to protect a little village near his palace…” She looks embarrassed, her cheeks flush as her voice trails for a moment, “But these are just folktales, Fukushima has always been a suspicious place, they-” she tries to finish but I cut her off.</p>
  <p><br/>“Hina...This is such a beautiful gift…” My eyes well up as I continue to flip through the pages. </p>
  <p><br/>The Demon in the Village, The Kitsune and the Princess, The girl who loved the Great Lord…</p>
  <p><br/>“Kagome, why are you crying?” My head snaps up in her direction, I didn’t notice I had let the tears start to fall.I wipe at my eyes gracelessly, the back of my hands slick with snot.</p>
  <p><br/>Should I tell Hina about what Sesshoumaru actually is? I want her to know how much this gift means to me...</p>
  <p><br/>I need someone who knows, I need someone to know. I’m going to sound like a crazy person if I tell her...</p>
  <p><br/>This one time fifteen years ago I fell down a well and my whole life changed. I fell for a half demon and ended up with a whole one, funny how life works huh? </p>
  <p><br/>“Hina...I-I...Sessh…” I take a deep breath, composing myself. </p>
  <p><br/>I can’t tell her. She’s looking at me too deeply, she reminds me so much of Sango. My eyes well up once more but I fight off the tears, taking a deep breath as they sting my nose. </p>
  <p><br/>“My mom...Used to tell me these stories...When I was a child…” </p>
  <p><br/>I don’t want to lie to Hina. I don’t want to lie to anyone, I’m so tired of trying to keep all of the bullshit straight. </p>
  <p><br/>She orders a few more drinks and I’ve realized I haven’t eaten yet today after not touching my ice cream. </p>
  <p><br/>“What are you not telling me Kagome? Are you alright?” Her question catches me off guard. I’m staring at the melted treat in my hands. </p>
  <p><br/>“I’m fine, everything’s fine...why do you ask?” My mouth word vomits before I can even think. </p>
  <p><br/>She reaches out and touches my hand. </p>
  <p><br/>“Please tell me Kagome...Is it Sesshoumaru?” It’s her eyes, she has the same eyes as Sango. I begin to cry, I can’t lie anymore. </p>
  <p><br/>I tell her everything. I cry and talk and cry some more and she sits across from me, holding my hand and letting me continue. </p>
  <p><br/>“Kagome...I’m so sorry” She wraps me up and hugs me close and I feel a weight lift from my shoulders. I feel my chest loosen and my whole body just fall. </p>
  <p><br/>“I’m not crazy I promise…” I give a bit of a laugh, wiping my eyes with the back of my hands once more. She touches my face, forcing me to hold her gaze. </p>
  <p><br/>“You know, my mom used to tell me about demons and shrine maidens when I was younger and I never believed her…” Hina gives a small laugh and I feel myself flush. </p>
  <p><br/>“I believe you...I’m here for you...through it all I promise okay?”</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>xxx</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <strong>End of Chapter Six</strong>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's been a while. I wanted to spend some time weighing out the pros and cons of taking this story on a different journey than I had originally planned. I think I have finally made the decision of where I want it to go, and what I want to get out of it. Bear with me as updates might be slow, this is a weird emotional journey and I want to make sure I can take you on it in a comfortable way.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I sit and read, immersing myself in the pages of this book. </p><p>By the time I’m into the third tale I can smell it. </p><p>The village always had a smell of cooking fires and drying herbs. Fresh grass and running water. </p><p>I feel like I’m walking through the streets, dirt beneath my feet, animals pulling carts passed me. The sun beating down on the top of my head, its warmth enveloping my body as I stroll. </p><p>A little girl running in front of me, I can see her grow into a young woman, discovering the world around her.</p><p>The stories tell of a demon with a heart who meets his end because of his compassion. A warning to other demons it seems. Don’t fall for humans. </p><p>I climb the stairs to our bedroom quietly. It’s late, it’s always late. Hina and I shared a cab home from work. </p><p>She keeps telling me she’s worried about my relationship and how these long days are affecting me. </p><p>“I’m dating a demon, he’s fine spending a little time alone…” I brush her off, even I know my tone is unkind. She levels me with her eyes. </p><p>“He may live forever, but you won’t. If you want to start a family with this man, you should get on that!” She’s starting to sound like Mel, but she’s right. She’s always right. </p><p>I close my eyes for a moment, leaning back into the seat. Her voice just floats through my brain and I’m reminded of the last conversation I had with Sango. </p><p>We were washing clothes down at the river. </p><p>I remember how cool the water was in the early spring. Icy water and warm air mixing, brushing my cheeks as the wind picked up, sun baking the clothes drying along the rocks. </p><p>“How do you know when you’re ready to have children” My words don’t form a question, merely a statement that fell into the crisp air. </p><p>She looks at me for a moment, she isn’t so much looking at me, but through me. Searching for the answer I want to hear no doubt, weighing her words before she speaks them. </p><p>“Oh Kagome, it’ll be written in the clouds! Clear as day” She will say. She will tell me I will feel it in my bones, I’ll just know. I will fully understand the nuance that is children and be fully ready. </p><p>The gods will bestow upon you a child that is right for you and your husband. They will paint the streets and hold festivals in your honour and will give you a manual on how to raise your children. </p><p>Her voice startles me from my thoughts and I am brought back down to the river. </p><p>“Hmmm…I guess when I realized I was pregnant with the twins!” She looks tired. Her answer is honest and I would expect nothing less from her, but I can’t help but wonder. </p><p>I wonder what Sango would have been like in the present. Whether she would have travelled, if she would see the world before settling down. I imagine us together in Tokyo, getting drinks and going to clubs, maybe we both went to school together and lived in a tiny apartment. </p><p>No one ever knows what they are ready for. </p><p>“Why are you always right.” She gives a smile but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. </p><p>When the cab drops me off Hina hugs me tighter than usual before I get out to climb the shrine steps. I count them out of pure habit. </p><p>I know he isn’t sleeping. I know he heard me come in. </p><p>He’s sitting up in bed as I slowly creak the door open. </p><p>“You forget I have impeccable hearing.” He’s so perfect. Curtains open just a crack, they let a sliver of moonlight in through the window. His skin, so white it almost glows in the darkness.</p><p>His stupid pretty hair pools around him, cascading into silver. The marks on his face a stark contrast against his lily white skin. </p><p>I climb into the bed gracelessly, tripping over my own feet as I try to get to him. My hand finds his face and I kiss his lips. </p><p>“I miss you” I whisper into his ear, wrapping my arms around his neck, settling into the curve of his body. </p><p>His bare chest touches my cheek. My hands grasp at his skin, I just want to pull him as close to me as humanly possible. His arms cradle me into reassurance, stroking my hair gently, he rests his nose into the crook of my neck. </p><p>“I love you no matter what.” His voice rumbles and I know he feels me relax because his grip loosens, but only slightly. </p><p>I pull off my pants and climb under the covers, facing him I hold onto his hands. </p><p>We haven’t had a moment of intimacy like this in months, I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I’m brought back to our first moments of intimacy, when a crush turned into a like. </p><p>His hand trails down my face, thumb tracing my cheekbone, I lean into his touch, closing my eyes. </p><p>“How was work?” He whispers to me. His lips brush my forehead lightly, wrapping me in his arms he traces shapes on my back. Letting out a sigh I think about what to tell him but decide to be honest. </p><p>“I’m stressed, I don’t want to have to do everyones job right now.” He makes a sound of acknowledgement, it rumbles deep in his chest and I continue to talk.  </p><p>“I’m just so tired. I’m so exhausted all the time. I want to crack open my skull, take my brain out and just have a break from it for a few days.” I can hear my own voice quiver slightly, his fingers continue to trace slow shapes on my barer back and I focus on the gentle graze of his claws. </p><p>“Let me take you away…” He squeezes me tightly, and I wrap my legs around his waist, not wanting to let this moment go. </p><p>“Let’s go away together…we can go to an onsen…think about all that relaxation…” </p><p>“Yes please…” Is all I can whisper. </p><p>Xxxxxxxxxxxx</p><p>“Do we have to call your mother…or do we just show up on her doorstep?” He looks at me for a moment and I know he’s thinking it through, carefully weighing the outcome of each scenario. </p><p>“We just show up. If we call there will be an elaborate show.” </p><p>Part of me really wants the elaborate show. The other part is too nervous to think about what it could be. </p><p>Would she make us an elaborate meal? Will there be gifts? What does a mother in law get a daughter she’s never met? </p><p>Sesshoumaru would cook an elaborate meal. Or buy too many gifts, he’s proven that both are in his nature. Maybe he gets that from his mother? </p><p>“She lives in Shimoda. We can visit the onsen, then go visit her. But you must be relaxed first.” I don’t think that I am the one who needs to be relaxed to go visit his mother. </p><p>“That sounds perfect” He’s nervous, I can tell by the way he touches my hair. </p><p>Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p>
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